This past week has been one of great changes. It seems that over night my small helpless infant has grown into a strong willed, independent little boy. I realize that overnight is a stretch of the imagination but it doesn't seem possible that a year has passed.
To celebrate his first year of life (or maybe it was the celebration of his parents getting him to that point, we all know about Walter) we had a gigantic party for the little man. The seems of our home were busting and yet we crammed a few more people in the mix. 51 people gathered to celebrate James. As a mom it is touching to know that 51 people care about your child. I know there are more but to have it physically displayed is touching.
So, one year has passed and my glob of gooey cartilage and helplessness is grown. I kid you not, over night he decided he was going to walk. He became more affectionate, more content with himself, interested in playing with big toys like trucks and tractors and I love it!!
Last night after a fairly long day at work, completely at the end of my rope, ready to go to sleep I was manning the house and the child on my own. Secretly I longed for my little guy to want to go to bed so I could lay in a state of unconsciousness while watching shows about over populated homes and mediocre talent striving for stardom, but of course he didn't. As the night played out he tired and became grumpy, and then it happened. My little boy fell down and hit his head.
I am not saying this was the highlight of my evening but normally in these situations he screams and pulls away. He desires no comfort from his parents, but not last night. I picked up my screaming boy expecting to be pushed away and unexpectedly he curled up under my chin and wrapped his little chubby arms around me. It had finally happened, my boy was able to show his love for me.
This moment took me back to the first time I held Ti-James. He was just born and he curled up on my chest and cuddled in. I loved those moments. I miss those moments. For a few months they were gone but they have returned. There is something so special about your child clinging to you. It's sweet and heavenly.
All the stress and frustration from my day washed away in that moment. Nothing else mattered except for this little boy I was embracing. I sat perfectly still afraid that the moment would end. For 15 minutes my son and I cuddled and I loved it and knew that this day would be ingrained in my heart forever.