I desire to be real.
What does that mean? It means that I want to be who I was created to be.
Who was I created to be? I don't know... I just know that I desire to be that person.
Authentic, real, organic. Trendy verbs. Actions we desire to be and yet we don't even know what they mean...I don't anyway.
When I was young I had a dream. My dream was to be a preacher. That's funny! I would sit in my room and read my bible and then preach a sermon to the wall about what I had just read.
Ridiculous but true.
I didn't go that direction in my life but sometimes I find myself in an empty room, reading my bible and it hits me. I've had revival in the shower. I've converted the laundry pile. The fireplace is always re-dedicating it's life to Christ and I think that I have almost convinced the throw rug that Christianity is for it.
The other night while my husband was at work and my son had tucked in for the night, I found myself at the piano in a lonely house and the urge hit me. I jumped up from the keys and grabbed a Bible. I had this idea in my head and I had to find out if it was just me pondering or if it was God speaking.
I flipped through the silver gilded pages, not 100% sure what I was seeking but determined to find an answer. It all stemmed from a conversation I had with a man I didn't even know. Without sharing details this is what I took away from that conversation. Some Christians just don't understand what it is their faith is about. They get lost in the layers that are wrapped around Jesus. Causes, issues and theological debates become their ticket into heaven.
As I frantically searched through the pages desiring to have authenticity jump up and hit me between the eyes I made a profound discovery.
I am a self proclaimed artist. When I sit at my piano I know I have the ability to create. It is magical when the words and melodies pour from my mind through my finger tips and fill the emptiness that surrounds me with beautiful music.
God is the ultimate artist. The world is his masterpiece. He created beings that he called man and woman and prized them as his finest work. He created us as His companions. His desire was that our everyday would happen with Him. We would walk, talk, eat and would live as friends.
Humanity messed it up. The art betrayed the artist.
I know when I create I fall in love. I desire to be with my creation because I am it and it is me. We are one. It is an expression of myself. I revel in it. I listen, I speak, I am, we are.
God's desire to be with me is like my desire to be with my art. I bask in my creation because it is an extension of who I am.
We will never experience the companionship of God as Adam and Eve did. Even though we can't physically walk with God He still desires our relationship. He desired this.
How amazing is it that the master artist desires to have a relationship with me. It takes on so many different shapes but in the end we still communion. He talks, I listen, more frequently I talk and He listens.
Creator - creation.
Redeemer - redeemed.
Worshiped - worshiper.
Friend - friend.
As I searched for the meaning of "real", the authentic Christian life, I discovered this.
If I live my life in the way God intended for it to be I will experience real.
If my everyday is a walk through the garden with my Creator I will have fulfillment. I will begin to peel away the layers that I have wrapped around my Christianity and uncover the heart of God. I will find love.
When I seek out the creator of my life, I will become real.
I will begin to understand who I am and why I am.
When I spend time with the Creator I will understand who He is and when I do that I will start to see that he isn't a cause or a debate.
When I live my life in communion with God I will peel away the layers I have bound around Him and be able to embrace who I am.
That sounds real.
When I can love God and embrace myself I can then live a life that is real, authentic and organic.
I can embrace our world.
Love is real. God is love. I am an extension of Him. I am the created.