Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Silence




Silence. I used to think adults had no appreciation for fun and excitement. They always wanted to rain on my fun times parade. Recently I realized that it was no personal offence, adults just understood the presence of silence.

It's funny. This morning as I fed my son his breakfast, which I will admit was Hawaiian pizza, I finally grasped the true appreciation for silence. I have never been so happy to see Ti-J go down for a nap. My husband took him up to his room and I escaped with my first cup of coffee for the day.

At first I was going to sit in our family room and stare at the wall but then I decided to go out to the living room and sit in front of the patio doors. Peace.

So much happens in silence. I watched the steam dance it's way up from my coffee, swaying and seducing as it passed the rim of my cup. Yum, hot coffee.

I watched an interesting looking bird hop around the yard in search for food or maybe a friend. Aww, nature.

I let my eyes take in the beauty of the hills that roll for miles. I wondered what the people on the other side of those hills had planned for their day. Hmmmmm...

As I sat there allowing myself to hear the thoughts that often scroll through my mind my husband sat in silence beside me. It was nice. We didn't have to say a word we just got to be.

I imagine that is what it's like growing old with someone. Essentially that is what I am doing but I don't consider us old yet. The once scary silence of our youth becomes a beautiful connecting point. After a while the silence seemed to be complete, it's moment was over.

My husband and I began to talk about our plans for our home, our family and our future. It's fun to think about those things. To dream.

I wonder what those years will look like. How we will have changed. I look forward to getting older and many more moments of silence while we watch the bird feeder.

I get a mental image of years down the road. Our children are gone and it's just my husband and I. We are sitting in this very spot, in our living room. Not a word is being spoken. I'm knitting socks, he's starring out the window. What a sweet moment.

I think I found true intimacy yesterday. No loner do I have to fear the silence or fill the void. A new chapter has opened for me and it's one to savour and appreciate. Mindless chatter no longer has to occur.

Hmmmm, silence.

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